Yesterday, I walked into work on a Monday morning greeted by my staff with flowers, birthday decor all over my office and all kinds of great food they brought in to celebrate ME for my 37th birthday. It was awesome! I love my office family, it's been a long road for us as well (and will continue to be) but I'm so glad they have accepted me as their "boss" so to speak, for some more difficult than others as I consider myself amongst some of the younger management staff and am younger than half the staff I oversee. I could not have had a better day, they were showing me how much they do appreciate my presence there, my boss even referred to me as the "office guidance counselor". Imagine that crazy lil ME!?!? Well I had intended to go into the office early the next day to get started on a few projects to show how much I appreciate them, instead very SILLY lil me was not thinking through the meds I took last night! You see my back went out and I have been barely able to walk these past few days, along with the double ear infections I have. I did not think twice before I downed the entire muscle relaxer (there must have been a reason they only prescribed me five pills) along with my amoxicillin and Benadryl - I didn't even think about how these downers would effect me! Now, my circle of friends that know me well do you know that I have tried quite a few things myself, BUT these prescription narcotics were strange to me, I've always played around with uppers NOT downers. This made me think of the word "ADDICTION", this notion is going to be tricky for me to tackle and I will eventually disclose what I think on that matter, I just don't know if I'm ready to tackle my thoughts on that one head-on. For now I will once again try to stay on point (on a side note that A-D-D thing drives me CRAZY - my mind just shift so easily). This downer was still in my system the morning AFTER, hours AFTER, when I was faced with having to go to work. I awoke to screaming babies and craziness in the morning and it's like I wasn't really there it was surreal this really must be what feeling disassociated really feels like, kind of an out of body experience. Somehow I managed to get my own clothes on, my husband pretty much got the kids out the door somehow and I DROVE to work. Oh what was I THINKING! As I was driving I knew something was not right, I kept looking around me for cop or something, thinking they can stop me because I am in NO position to be driving right now. As soon as I got to work, I parked my car and I thought I felt so WASTED right now, so I gave into it and closed my eyes, unbeknownest to me, I closed my eyes for FIVE HOURS!!! Had I really just knocked out without telling anybody I was there?!?!? OMG!! I woke up to someone knocking on my window, car still on of course, how embarrassing! I didn't know what to say or think! How could anyone enjoy this feeling?? I don't like this! I was still foggy, my ears still feeling so much pressure and pain, my back still hurting. This was so NOT worth all of this drama?!? After checking my phone, and looking at all the text messages and missed phones calls, I finally found the courage to walk into the office, at the END of the day. I went to talk to my boss, I explained what had happened as she already knew that I was having issues. It was like being in the principals office, she had called my husband looking for me, she said she thought I was in a ditch somewhere and was worried sick! I was only gone for five hours. I guess I'm so lucky that so MANY people CARE about ME, I am just shaking my head at myself on this one, don't BE so SILLY! I still can't believe I let that happen, missing work over some narcotics, is SOOOOO NOT ME!
No comments:
Post a Comment