The Late Bloomers, Sometimes we NEED to FALL

I've always considered myself a late bloomer, I feel like its always taken me a little bit LONGER than most to PROCESS certain things in life.  Now, don't get wrong, I can understand completely, instantaneously almost, but my PROCESS of what is REALLY going down, may lag, just a bit, coming to terms with the GRAVITY of it ALL.  By no means am I complaining about this, I appreciate this part of ME.  I thought at some point, this part of me would leave ME behind the rest, somewhere in the dust, just a straggler. Here's how I SEE it, its all about my EXPERIENCE and how that experience has CHANGED me, and helped me GROW, no one else will EVER know what that feels like, unless they LIVE through it.

I've been through struggles, most struggles that I put myself in, and I would NOT change those struggles, EACH one has played a role of WHO I am TODAY, I kinda like that TOO.  Here's the tricky part, I have been given the OPPORTUNITY to FIND myself, to COME on MY OWN TERMS. I have hit my ROCK BOTTOM, unfortunately more than ONCE.  I have been JOBLESS, HOMELESS and HUNGRY, I have BINGED for days on things I don't care to speak of anymore, I remember not eating for days and my clothes falling off me, I was finally skinny but not HEALTHY, I have been scared for being at the WRONG place thinking what the HELL am I doing HERE? I have BEATEN and LOST!  These words may sound worse than they actually were, I just read my last sentence five times and each one is true, but I lived through it, it did not destroy ME.  Through each of those times, I FOUND my way out, I FOUND my way back HOME, even if it meant swallowing every once I pride I ever HAD, because I wanted MORE for MYSELF.  I know those must have been some of the DARKEST days for my parents and I am LUCKY to have their unconditional love and support, they were waiting for me, when I was ready to return.  NO JUDGEMENT or explanation necessary, just the care and nurturing I needed at that time.  There are some out there that DO NOT have the opportunity they NEED in life in order to move forward and GROW.  In some cultures, parents or guardians, have SO much CONTROL over their children, they NEVER let them FALL, they are constantly SAVING them and do NOT give them any alternative, they never let them FIND their way out of their own BLACK HOLE.  I certainly do know there is FINE LINE in that, I have seen firsthand what SELF-DESTRUCTION looks like, its not pretty, its scary and heartbreaking, I have seen many lives LOST to self-destruction and YES we should do ANYTHING we can to HELP, but sometimes you need to LET GO.  Us late bloomers, need to COME to IT on OUR own, ALL we can do is HAVE FAITH that we have RAISED our children talking to them as MUCH as possible.  Most people would be floored by the realities I let my nine year old know, but I know in my heart, that my experiences can help me enlighten each one of my kids, so they WANT MORE for THEMSELVES, I PRAY that they LEARN from my mistakes, I tell the brutal TRUTH and HOPE one day my WORDS will be RINGING in their ears, they NEED to know what the CONSEQUENCES are, what could be, and IF they are STUBBORN, maybe they NEED to FALL, and that is OK, because when they do FINALLY fall, YOU can BE there to CATCH them, to be their SAVIOR when they are READY to GIVE IN.

One last thought, I looked up the definition of STUBBORN, did you know that its actually means the REJECTION of CHANGE, the REJECTION of GROWTH, the REJECTION of LIFE!!  Simple, that says it ALL right there, because LIFE is about CHANGE every SECOND.