Where do I GO?

I'm stuck, stuck in a rut, stuck in the HOLE.  How do I deal? Where do I go from here?
Last week was a ride of evaluations, I had taken my own pretty good I thought, it was constructive and I could see where I needed to improve.

Then I came to face ALL of my FAILURES, I'm failing at EVERYTHING (not really but it feels that way)! Why even bother anymore (because life is about lessons, you pick yourself up and try again)? I give up, I'm done, there's just no point anymore (there's a reason I exist whether I know it or not).  I've poured my heart out and guess what FAIL - EPIC FAIL(OK this one just drives me crazy- I must be glutton for punishment-I need to face that this ONE is HOPELESS)!!!!!  As I'm writing I continue to fail (I'm never going to change really this is who I am and how I'm comfortable expressing myself), where do I go?? Feeling broken, NUMB,shattered,  JUST WAITING FOR LIFE TO BRING ME BACK, it usually does.  At least at one point while I was writing this post I cracked a smile - there's hope for ME yet.

I hate these imbalanced days they take away so much from my life, they rob all of us.  Someday forgiveness will find its way in our lives, maybe.