Just keep MOVING

I need to just keep writing right now, I need to shake this off...are you with ME???

I knew you would be, I need to find the POSITIVE ME, I know that positive ME exists, I know I'm here.  I'm slowly coming back, and it feels good!!  Just GUZZLED down two glasses of water, probably more water than I've had the past two days, gives me that ocean in my tummy feeling, I could probably move my tummy back and forth and hear it, LOL makes me feel like a kid again.  That kid in us is always there, so innocent.

After writing my last post as I was once again washing the dishes, reflecting on the week I had at work, after that week, I should be proud of myself, I felt like I moved mountains, it was such an exhausting journey, and with a few bad comments, the glory of my accomplishments just diminished - just like that, right into the dust. Why do we let others HOLD this POWER over US??  I'm stalling here, you know that's not what's really whats bothering me.  Work is work, we will always be evaluated and judged, its part of the working process, we really do need the evaluation part to help us GROW, to help us fine tune ourselves, I am OK with that, I am able to accept that.  What I'm having a heard time accepting is that, I have poured my heart out, and I did not get the results I thought I'd see, I must be foolish, yes I am.  So they say that if you do not put your heart out there naked, unveiled, nothing to hide, then you will never gain anything, you will never receive that true love that everyone seeks.  Well I feel like I have been trying, I've pretty much put it out there to the "WORLD" so to speak, unveiling myself, because well the "WORLD" is the only one that will listen, no one may "HEAR" me, but I needed to try somehow.  I've only been truthful here and once again all its done is HURT me AGAIN, and here I am I have NOT learned my lesson, because I am still HEARTBROKEN and CRUSHED, still waiting to BE SAVED.  I fear this will never end, I have not been able to find my acceptance in all this, I have NOT accepted this yet, I think I NEED to find my PEACE with this one, I surely HOPE that I find my PEACE real soon.  This one is just tearing everyone apart.  Well, I'm not sure what I have accomplished here, but at least it's OFF my chest and I do feel a little bit better, just in time to bounce back to being me and taking on the WEEK!

I am going to smile, because I need to.

So SMILE :-)